I’m baaaaack!

Hello, I am back in Berkeley, preparing for my gig tomorrow night at the Luggage Store. (9:00 PM, come at 8:00 to hear the other band too.) I only have 20 minutes of new music written because I got ill right as it was time to start writing stuff. So I’ll be presenting some works-in-progress and maybe some older never-before-played-in-public stuff. There is at least one piece that even subscribers to my podcast have not heard before.

I am sooo jetlaged and alas still have not returned to feeling 100%.
In my Paris apartment, I had a really awesome-sounding refrigerator. I recorded it that day before I left. I have 43 minutes of it making it’s strange song-like sounds. I feel tempted to subject people to the entire recording, but I think I would not be invited back. It really is lovely, though.
Also, I’ll do a 10 minute or so improvisation with Ellen Fullman. So that plus new computer music (and one tape) is half an hour. Plus several minutes of fridge. Plus, um, gosh, I’m listening to my fridge right now and it’s so great.
zzzzzzzzz
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Offline

I must return my internet box to the phone company. They also require that I write them a letter that says a whole bunch of things and contains a receipt for the box. To return it, I need to find one of their offices and go. Everything is overly complicated in France, except when it’s not.

My breaker box intermittently makes sparky noises the last couple of days (ack!), so I think I will unplug everything in the house.
I’m offline until Tuesday or Wednesday. See y’all in California!
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The Singularity / The Rapture

Futurists and Science Fiction types talk a lot about the Singlularity which is a future event where there is sudden and complete change. Optimists see this as a positive thing: we’ll have a super-smart AI fix everything for us, or we’ll be able to upload our brains into super-fast computers and grow new bodies so we can keep reloading and thus never die or something really techy and cool will happen.

I think the tech problems we’ll supposedly suddenly solve are NP-complete. The first 90% is the first 90% of the work and the last 10% is the next 900%, if it’s even solvable. Frankly, I don’t see much cause for optimism about technology because the economy is doomed. The US dollar is being kept afloat by foreign investors. More than 60% of the US is in drought. There’s dust bowl conditions in the Dakotas. When the dollar finally collapses, the US is not (yet) so irrelevant that it won’t ripple out and possible cause a world-wide economic recession or depression. (The difference between the US and the third world right now is infrastructure and infrastructure only. How’s your power grid doing?)
Ack, dust bowl and recession (and hotter weather)! What can get us out of this disaster? What worked last time? War. Fortunately, we’ve got plenty of war.
I’ve been told several times that this conflict in Lebanon is very nuanced. It’s important to understand the subtlety of flattening the infrastructure of a sovereign country that’s been free of foreign occupation for all of what- 6 months now? It’s certainly difficult to grasp a morality where a rich country has caused 20-25% of it’s poor neighbor country to become refugees (not hiding in bomb shelters for a little while, more like homeless). I wouldn’t want to jump to conclusions when I read that Israel is targeting civilian radio antennas in residential areas for bombing. Nor would I want to have un-nuanced ideas about bombing shelters used by families and killing 20 kids with one bomb. Maybe the way to figure out the morality in this nuanced conflict could be, say, to look at how many people have been killed and displaced on each side and the level of economic devastation (say as percentage of GDP) and the likely-hood of whether either side will turn into a failed state afterwards due to infrastructure damage. I bet number like that could provide a clearer moral picture of this very nuanced situation. Because blowing kids to bits with bombs from overhead isn’t barbaric, only beheading people in front of a video camera is barbaric, so it would be wrong to judge based on a purely visceral reaction to horrible suffering inflicted by a US proxy state.
Of course, the US is urging a diplomatic solution and is completely neutral as it rushes order of bombs to Israel, you know, to go with all those bombs, jets, guns, tanks, and military equipment that we already gave them.
Many folks in the US don’t want peace, alas. Something like 40% of Americans believe that the End Times are upon us. The world is about to end, they think. They look to the Book of Revelations in the Bible and try to work out the utterly bizarre symbolism. Part of this strange symbolism and confusing book includes a warning of a “peacemaker” who is actually the anti-Christ. So somebody who brings about peace in the middle east is actually completely evil and to be opposed at all costs. Jesus says, very clearly, in the Beatitudes “Blessed are the peacemakers” but a confusing, later book which is not a record of Jesus’ speech and life says peacemakers are bad, so I guess the bible’s position on peace is very clear. It’s bad. This is why Jesus cheered Peter on when he cut off the ear of the roman soldier in the garden on Holy Thursday.
There’s good news, though! The Rapture is coming! All the saved Evangelicals will be sucked directly to heaven in one moment. They get to skip the war, the drought, the plague and all the other bad things and death itself. One moment, they’ll be sitting at their desks, driving their cars, piloting airplanes, cooking dinner when suddenly! Fwoosh! They go straight to heaven! After that, a secular world government forms and there’s no more war, plus all the Evangelicals are gone. (The Virgin Mary prophisized 1000 years of peace, I don’t know how this fits into the Evangelical world view.) After they’ve been sucked out, their cars and planes will all be unpilotted and crash and the cooking ones’ kitchens will catch fire, but I see this as a net win. Peace. Secular government. Gay rights. George Bush divinely removed from office. It can’t come soon enough.
So we’re either headed for a Singularity, a world wide depression or the Rapture. Something big – either with a Deus-ex-machina or without. Maybe we’ll have all three and the Singularity will just be for the rich and unpious. The Rapture contingent even have a date: August 3rd, 40 days after the Israeli soldiers were captured. Do pets get raptured? They say all dogs go to heaven. It would suck if all the dogs disappeared. Cats won’t though, so it’s up to the Evangelic pet owner to be prepared. Invite your unsaved friends over for lunch at your house on August 4th. Sometime before August 3rd begins in Jerusalem’s time zone, tape a note to your door explaining to your friends that you’ve been raptured and they should try to find homes for your pets. That way your pets won’t be left for more than a day. If it turns out that you’re also unsaved, just take down the note the morning of the 4th.
I really like life. I don’t want to get raptured, because that’s the end of life. (I also don’t want to escape the cycle of death and rebirth. Why would people want to escape life?) You have to pretty upset with your life to be actively wishing for it to be over. I feel bad for people who are happily marking their calendars and writing notes about cat-care. Please, get therapy. Learn to see how conflict and death are bad things. Also, ride your bike to your therapists office and don’t take your hummer. It’s hot enough.
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Bay Area Gig Alerts: August 3rd and 6th

First California gigs in a year. Maybe the only for another year. Catch me while you can!

Laptop: August 3rd, 9:00 PM, San Francisco

Thursday August 3rd at 9:00 PM
at the Luggage Store Gallery
1007 Market Street, San Francisco, CA

$6-10 sliding scale (nobody turned away for lack of funds)

I’ll be playing new laptop music. There’s a group on before me at
8:00, so you might want to come early to catch them too.

Tuba: August 6th at 5:00 PM in Oakland

I will be playing improvised tuba in a quartet along with Damon
Smith, Jen Baker and Aram Shelton at the 6th Annual Skronkathon at 21
Grand [416 25th St @Broadway Near 19th Street BART Oakland]

This FREE event starts at noon and goes to 10:00 PM, but I’ll be on
around 5:00. This event is rumored to be a blast, so I hope some of
you come. Bring your own item to BBQ. More information can also be
found at: http://bayimproviser.com/transbay_calendar.asp?summary=false&event_id=5467

Synthesizer: Details TBA

David Jensenius and I will be playing a laptop/synthesizer duo at the Maybeck Recital Hall in the Berkeley hill during the second week of August. I will post more about date and time when I know more.

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You can have this sort of information delivered directly to your inbox! I have a Yahoo group dedicated to announcing my gigs on the West Coast of the US.

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Man, I can’t wait to get home!
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Hôpital Hopping

Today, I went back to the hospital near my house to get a blood test, as scheduled. Then I met Michelle and she gave me a ride out to the Hôpital Américain. It’s a small, private hospital in a far-flung rich suburb (we have those too, it’s not all poor kids burning cars) where, rumor has it, Sarkozy lives. The hospital has valet parking, lovely grounds and reminds me visually of a Nordstroms from the outside.

I was directed to the emergency room because I did not have an appointment. I felt somewhat sheepish sitting in an emergency room for indigestion, but given it was terrible enough that it felt life-threatening and they told me to go there, etc etc, anyway. There were far far fewer people waiting there than there were this morning for the walk-in dermatology clinic at St. Louis. Since it’s a private hospital, it’s not on the French system and it charges about 3 times as much (which is still much less than American hospitals in America), the waiting room was full of rich foreigners or others desperate to speak to anglophone medical types.
I saw the doctor relatively shortly after I arrived. He told me that if I’ve been taking antibiotics for three weeks, I can just stop and it will be ok. If later I have lyme symptoms again (like late-stage lyme) I can always just take more antibiotics then. I pointed out that the ghostly remains of my lyme rash are still visible and I still have symptoms and Yahoo medical says 4 – 6 weeks for people with my symptom set. Not that he wasn’t more knowledgeable than yahoo medical, but I don’t want to have lyme forever. So he told me I could do whatever I wanted and gave me a prescription for strong antacids. This is an improvement over my experiences at the pharmacy, where they kept giving me stuff for problems I wasn’t having. Last time, the pharmacist gave me brewer’s yeast. It’s good for you, sure, but isn’t it crazy to take yeast while on antibiotics?
So I feel much less godauful having only tried one of the two prescribed medicines. Or, I could just stop taking everything and hope for the best. The blood test I had early this morning was for lyme, but I don’t get the results back for 2 weeks, which which time, I will have stopped taking antibiotics anyway. Tomorrow was the day my original course of antibiotics would have finished, if I had not become allergic. Stopping = tempting.
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but wait

Some people treated for early Lyme disease have brief episodes of headache, muscle and joint pain, and fatigue that may continue for an extended period of time after treatment. These symptoms usually go away on their own within six months and do not require further treatment.
During the first 24 hours of antibiotic therapy, you may have a higher fever, redder rash, or greater pain. This is not an allergic reaction to the drug. It may mean that the bacteria are rapidly dying.

(ibid) Ok, so I had that, but longer than 24 hours afterwards. My joint paint did not start until after I had started taking antibiotics. I really wish I could talk to an expert or somebody.
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woo! Red rash!

Yay, another allergic rash! I get to back to the Hôpital again!

Somebody, for the love of god, tell me an anglophone doctor I can talk to who knows about normal treatments for lyme disease. I think I may have already taken enough (13 days of 100 mg of doxycycline 2x/day). Post phone numbers for any country in comments.
How many antibiotics am I allergic to? What do I take when I get an infection, if I’m allergic to everything? Is it something in my house that I don’t know about? So far, not as bad as yesterday. meh
[Edit: 6:24 pm: bah. “For early-stage Lyme arthritis, oral doxycycline or amoxicillin is usually given for 4 to 6 weeks.” http://health.yahoo.com/ency/healthwise/hw74158]
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3 more weeks of drugs

Went back to the doctor. She acted disbelieving when I told her I had an allergy. And disbelieving when I told her I had lyme disease. (“What did the blood test say?” it doesn’t fucking matter, I have all the symptoms, give me drugs!) Then finally, she gave me 150 mg of Roxithromycine (english: Roxithromycin) twice a day for 3 more weeks.

Three more weeks??!!?
Nicole has read that some doctors only give doxycyline for 10 days for early stage lyme. Maybe I’m already cured. Except the muscle above my bite still hurts off and on and really, I don’t want to take any chances with this thing.
Let the count down to allergy begin. I blame the dermatologist my mother dragged me to in high school. Dear Upper middle class kids and parents, Teenagers are supposed to have zits. Giving young teens low doses of antibiotics every day for years is not good for them and may have repercussions in later life.
I went to the same pharmacy to buy the pills. The pharmacist said, “oh the allergy came back?” Yes, it came back! (I know, I know. But it’s close to my house and I’m not again asking for advice.) I have very little confidence in either the drug, the doctor or the pharmacist right now. It’s just like home.
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Things not to do re: Allergies

Yeah, if your antibiotic gives you a rash, you STOP TAKING IT. You do not just take allergy medecine and keep swallowing the anitbiotic. Why? Because the reaction gets much worse every time. To the point where you could still be taking allergy medecine AND have an itchy red rash and a phlegmy throat and there’s nothing else you can take for the itchy burning what’s-wrong-with-my-throat.

I have lost faith in my pharmacist(s). I appreciated him because he gave me advice about my tick bite. I was annoyed when the advice turned out to be wrong (“wait until monday” meant arthritis on Tuesday. meh.) I loved her when she sold me something to make my stomach feel less terrible. I fell head over heels (well, not really) when she gave me something for the rash, the first time. Except that she told me to keep taking the antibiotic. I showed up at the pharmacy early in the day, that time. I could have gone to the Hôpital right then, even on a Saturday. The Zirban-ish French drug would have controlled the rash. But no, she lead me wrong and now I am itchy and alarmed and will have to get up early in the morning and go to the Hôpital and the lyme disease thingees might regroup during the night and launch a counter-offensive.
I am now looking for a new pharmacy.
The American Hospital of Paris gives telephone advice to inhabitants of the Ile-de-France. Their number is 01 46 41 2525. A bilingual person answers the phone. I had to call back twice because of phone glitches, however, I ended up speaking with an American doctor, I think possibly in America, because she knew my allergy medecine by it’s American brand name. She told me that if I can’t breath or pass out that I need to go to a hospital and that the peak allergic reaction usually lasts an hour and a half, so I’ve got maybe 40 minutes of itching and dry-throat paranoia to go. (my god it feels dry and weird, hopefully it won’t close up.)
Pharmacists here are so willing to dispense medical advice that I just assumed they must be qualified to do so. When you make an ASSUMPTION, you make an ASS out of U and MPTION.
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So, how are you really?

It’s like a sine wave, that’s heading towards heathy. Which is to say, up and down, but headed up. I still have some pain off and on in the leg that got bit, occasional muscle soreness, and the rash varies from invisible to alarmingly red. I’m still more tired than normal, but in the last 3 days, my outdoor ventures have not left me feeling anything other than happy. Good timing, as Brother Bob arrived today.

Most of my problems now are from the antibiotic. Most people who take it have stomach problems, myself included. My pharmacist sold me strange pink pills which treat stomach cramps and “spasms of the uterus.” ooo-kay. She also sold me biphidous, which is some bacteria which is supposed to live in your body and which antibiotics tend to murder.
I have just been taking the biphidous and the antibiotic because yesterday I got an allergy to something. The pharmacist thinks it’s the antibiotic, but I’ve been taking it for 2 weeks and the pink pills for only 2 days and I just bought new soap. So she sold me allergy medicine. 3 pills to treat the side effects of the one pill. If I don’t turn pink and itchy tomorrow, then it’s the pink stuff or the soap. If I do, I’m allergic to the two major kinds of antibiotics. Only one more week of it. I can’t wait. It really makes me feel sick. At least it’s only twice a day. I do most of my eating right before I have to take it again. I am alarmingly thin.
In other news, I lost my nose ring in the shower today. I’ve been having very mixed luck. Everything is going screwy in France, but my California persona, who maybe lives there without me, has been offered gigs and kind words about my work.
[Edit 20:28: Augh, my front torso, neck and face are red and itchy!! I know God isn’t testing my faith, because I don’t have any. I already took an allergy pill. It’s Sunday night. So I take another doxycycline and wait till morning to find somebody to whine to?]
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