Author: Charles Céleste Hutchins

August 11

I know why ancient people had wind gods. The peoples along the north sea and the rivers feeding it must have had several. The elbe must have a powerful god all it’s own.

I made a wrong turn today and had to power up a steep hill, while the wind was momentarily still. It was surprisibgly easy. This wind is like biking the alps. I don’t knpw how hard it is for nicole, but xena’s trailer has unfortunate sail-like properties. I spent almost all of today in first gear and my knees are tired regardless. I feel badly about about how kendra’s departure played out, but there’s no way her ankle would have survived today, alas.

We started around 11:30 in Bremervörde and rode about 29k to Hemmoor, where we detoured in a very roundabout manner looking for a pet store and lunch. We found a feed store which carried xena’s kind of dogfood, but closed on weekends.

In Hemmoor, we were re-united with the viking route, which we will follow more or less faithfully into Denmark. We followed it for around 23 more k, bringing the daily total to about 52. We reached Glückstadt around 8:30, after taking a ferry across the elbe. My kilometer totals don’t include accidental or intentional detours. Man, we rode for a long time and what felt like a longer distance as the temperature dropped, the wind blew and the sky grew menacing.

There was rain forecast and we felt a few drops and saw the steely gray color of the sky and so opted again for a hotel. This one without internet and correspondingly cheaper. Of course, it’s not actually raining. Meh.

It is cold though. The wheat is almost all harvested. We pass hay lofts full of bales and busy tractors. Roadside stands are selling apples and pumpkins. Dry leaves crunch beneath our wheels and today i saw ducks migrating. Wasn’t it summer just a few days ago?

We are really quite far north. I guess autumn comes early here. Tomorrow is forecast to be sunny, so we’ll see. The dark grey skies over the impossibly green wind-blown fields is worth worse weather, imo.

So calculations show that on day 9, we went about 40k and day 10, about 60.

As you recall , when you last heard, we had lost a member. That night, i went to bed very early, even before the sun set. Woke up feeling much better. We had a lot of late nights since coming to germany, something that certainly harmed our social dynamic. A lot of this trip seems to be abput stuff my mom told me as a little kid. Eat your breakfast. Get plenty of sleep.

Our route started going north along the wesser river. The terrain was flat, but ooh, the wind! The river is dotred with charming towns and touristy stuff.

We briefly reunited with the viking route to take a ferry east. Then we parted again to follow a somewhat more roundabout marked route. I had anticipated more charming towns and cute bike paths. Alas, this has not been the case, but our route has taken us past larger towns and things like camping and hotels, something the viking route lacks for this stretch. Vikings, of course, wouldn’t stay in hotels.

Going away from the river has cut down the wind, but added a lot of uphill, which for me is easier.

Around 4:00, we were really close to the only campground when it started to rain. Our sleeping bags still have not dried from the last rain, so we consulted our list of bed and bike hotels and called one of them. We rode a couple hours farther and got a warm dry room. And internet. Everyone is pleased. Except for xena.

August 9

The hotel was a 3 star. I couldn’t figure out how it was different than a 2 star until breakfast, which was really nice. Also, sleeping in a bed was quite great. The hotel was part of the ‘bed and bike’ network in germany, which is a very nice system. The hotel had protected bike parking and caters to bicyclists. They packed us a lunch!


After breakfast, we biked to the center to look around and get photos in better light. There was a market so we stocked up a bit on edibles. They had the most beautiful blackberries that i’ve ever seen. Tasty, too.

We were far from the viking route, so we started up the hunte route, which follows the hunte river. It’s sponsored by the government, so it has much better signage. Also, a lot of places along it cater to bike tourists. And it has some of the most beautiful countryside that i’ve seen in germany.

However, the wind was against us and strong. Despite her new clips, kendra was having some troubles wither her heel. She was basically pedalling with one leg. Then, to make maters worse, she hit a pothole right before lunch and bent a rim.

The major downside of our route today was a lack of toilets. After lunch, i ended up sprinting for a bit and then finally turned off the route to go to a truck stop. I felt obligated to purchase something, so i got some ice cream. I came out eating it and found nicole standing at an intersection. She explained that she knew kendra had seen our route until that point. We wondered if her bent  rim had caused a flat, so nicole rode back to find her. She was missing.

Just as i started to compose an sms, i receoved one from her. She was at the tourist office. I reasoned that she must have gone ahead there to find information about repairing her rim, and smsed back to say i was heading over. Nicole paused to make use of the truck stop and emerged with a bunch of fries.

It tok me a while to find the tourist info, and when i got there, kendra was looking displeased. She handed me back my route map and announced that she was going home. I expressed concern for her tendon, but she explained hat she was angry that i had sprinted to the truck stop and that nicole had waited so long to find her. She had reasoned that we would backtrack and we would therefore encounter her. I had assumed she would catch up and we would go forward through our detour.

She was extremely upset. She could have been hit by a car or something and we had ditched her.  I don’t know how long she waited, but we did come back to look for her. I can understand why she felt so frustrated though, with her ankle problems and broken bike and, alas, things were still a bit tense after our crit theory argument. I tried to talk less about feminism and theory issues and stick more to life experiences, but there’s a weird vibe when you’re specifically NOT talking about things that are important to you. So i can understand why she felt so unhappy.  I hope her joints feel better after a few days rest.

This confrontation, which, alas lead to my tiny bbq getting trashed, took up a lot of energy, so nicole and i only went on a few k to camp. And kendra, hopefully, got home ok.  I kind of want to call and check, but she was so angry, i don’t want to make her more unhappy.


In other news, my bank in ca was trying to reach me because somebody had a fake id and was impersonating me, trying to withdraw money! They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but i’m not sure about this case. I really want to know if they tried to look like me or wore a disguise and generally what it would be like to pretent to be me, but i doubt they put so much thought into it. I’ll have to wait to ask george cluney when he plays me in the movie verson of this blog.

August 8

last night i learned that if you touch the side of a tent during a rain storm, you get wet. Ok, i actually already knew that, but was, alas, reminded.

Nicole woke up feeling really sick. I sent her to sit in a warm indoor space while i packed up both of our things, all of which were wet. Meanwhile, xena kept sneaking off someplace. Kendra followed her and discovered her chewibg on a really large bone. I hope it came from a deer or something.

I finally got everything packed while kendra went in search of informayion about a bike store. The day before, she announced that pain in her achilles tendon was so severe that she might have to go home.

After we finally assembled our selves, we went to a cafe for breakfast. We had a slow meal while nicole recovered her strength. The nearest bike shop was 3k south, so we went to that town. The bike shop didn’t havr clips- which kendra suspected would solver her wores, but one 4k further south might.

They didn’t have clips either, but they had rain gear, which nicole had never pyrchased for some reason and now sorely needed because of the continuing light rain. They also had helmets to replace the one she lost a few days ago. That shop called a shop another 6k south and determined that the larger more southerly town had clips.

So went further south to what is actually a city. By this, i mean that you don’t see tractors on the main street. The viking route takes us consistently to towns consisting of a church, a firestation, a cafe and a tractor mechanic. It’s a nice change to be in a real town.

Kendra purchased a lot of gear and had her bike repaired. We dallied and then got a hotel room. With internet. So, today we made negative progress. But i got to upload some stuff.

August 7

Day 7 got off to a tired start. We had an unexpected argument the night before about critical theory of all things. Kendra maintained that crit theory is an attempt to impose non-normative meanings upon pop culture where it does not belong as a part of an effort of elitism so that crit theorist types can asert their superiority pver other groups by inappropriately claiming oppression and tryibg to inspire guilt in folks who better conform to normative ideals. Specifically, she was annoyed about 3 separate conversations about comics. I can say that i never expected to be shouted at regarding whether or not tje x,men movie had gay subtext or whether superman had jewish subtext or, really to ever be yelled at about wonder woman. Doesn’t the wong say she heals the world with love? In her satin tights, fighting for our rights.

So we woke up early in the morning to have breakfast at the home of the wife of the guy who runs the campground. She made us scrambled eggs and gave us bread and whatnot. She’s from el paso and had travelled a lot  and wanted to pass forward tje kindness she had received.  We sat and talked for a long time.

This made for a late start. We were all pretty tired from the late night. But the weatjer was nice and cool. The sky was clouded over, which made for a nicer ride, but no solar charging. Actually, my little computer has a pretty long battery life, so a day of no charging was no big deal.

I have no idea what our millage was. We got to our campsite as it started to rain. Pitched tents and went into the town for dinner. The campsite had a certain creepiness. It was clearly repurposed from sonething else and was full of empty buildings. Also, it was largely empty. Many of the motor homes were mossy. There were slugs around, but none in the tiolet, so that was ok. Actually, the bathrooms and caretakers were really nice.

Around the border, there were alot of catholic religious shrines. A few were dedicated to the virgin, bur most were of the crucified christ. By afternoon, most of them were passed.

In other news, xena had started seeming very exhausted. Alas, she doesn’t sleep at all in the doggie ride, but rather worries the whole time, sometimes while pacing. The earlier camping seems to have helped. Also, it was good we got off the road before the rainstorm started.

August 6

Today I don’t even know how many k we went. We got lost and then found and then had to go ten extra k to camp.

Our camping last night was super awesome, as I’ve described. They even offered breakfast in bed in the mornings, but we didn’t take them up on it. We were deterlined to have breakfast in germany, as it was only 11k away.  There was no sign marking the border, just a canal. We crossed it and then had to go a few more k to get to the firat town. Where everything was closed on mondays. I hadn’t had any coffee. Breakfast in germany turned into a cheese sandwhich and no coffee.  I’ve been averagibg 2 or 3 espressos per day, so the no coffe thing was not aminor inconvience. My head was pounding.

Germany has committed to getting most of it’s power from green energy. This means lots of windmills. We saw tons of them, all spinning at high speeds and facing us. The wind was brutal and unrelenting. The rolling hills of the last few days are gettibg gradually more rolling and we have a definite uphill tendency, which makes sense. Also, as we get more inland, he sun gets more intense.

So, to recap: uphill, hot as hell, wind, rough roads, NO COFFEE.

Fear not, nobody was murdered although it was close. We finally found coffee at two or three in the afternoon.

In other, possibly related news, i’m no longer the navigator.  Nor am i the fire builder. And, indeed, thechances of murder remain high as it gets to be near midnight and the fast twent minute coal method stretcheswell past half an hour. I’m sitting here bein anti-social. Thinking beautiful thoughts.

It turns out that in germany, camp admissions actually end at six in the evening.  Also, campsites are not marked on our new viking route map. Vkings don’t need no stinking campsites. It does mention if there is camping in the towns we pass through, but not camping close by. So we got directions from a local to far away camping and then followed signs with pictures of motor homes on them. It was closed, but the owner’s daughter heard us speakibg english and talked to us. Her mom is american.

Caravans and tents do not coexist, so she lead us to hiden foeld and told us to camp there. Then her parents came aroubd with batroom keys and then gave us charcoal, access to the fire pit and invited us for breakfast in the morning. Best camping ever, but we’re kind of screwed for future nights.

We purchased a tiny grill. I now regret this descicion. If we had cold food, i would be asleep by now after a day of being lost, high heat, bad winds, rough terrain and NO COFFEE.

The moral of this story is not to skip breakfast or put it off.

Also, nobody in this country leaves their wifi unlocked.

I forgot to make arrangements about my digeridu. Marty is coming to Amsterdam with it. Very soon. Could one of the etc folks or gender changers keep it for me? I’ll be back around the third week of august. I would be much obliged.

We went about 60km today. We’re still in the Netherlands, but only 11km to go until Germany. We’ve been riding north, slowly creepibg towards the border. Today, we  got to Emmen, which is tje start of my second set of maps : “The Viking Route”.  We will be raiding and pillaging along the way, or maybe just looking at Viking artifacts.

Around the northern part of the Netherlands, in the Gronigen province – where we are now – ancient people stacked up rocks intp formations. Like stonehwnge, but much more squat. We went to look at one near Emmen. It really looked like modern art actually. The arrangement of the stones was aestheticaly pleasing. Nicole describes it as, “a bunch of big honking stones.” She was very excited to go see it.

The heat has been really intense the last couple of days. I feel like i’m being baked alive in the afternoon. We’ve taken to having a late lunch and hanging out for bit afterwards. Alas, internet connections are harder to find in smaller towns and usually not offered at campsites.

“Camping” is a different concept in the Netherlands. Usually, it refers to a place where trailers of the sort found in retirement mobile home parks in the american southwest are permenently parked. Except, not just for old folks. Then, there is usually a fleet of caravans (americans call theses ‘campers’). These have tents extending from them to make them into three room houses. They have electricity and a million amenities. And finally, you have the tents. These are usually 12 person tents. Some of them have stoves in them. No campground is complete without a network of tiny canals. And a bar.

And then there exists something called ‘mini camping.’ This refers to what americans call car camping. You get a grassy spot to pitch you mega tent or park your camper, but no bar or canal network. Mini camping often offers certain luxuries, like toilet paper, hand soap, paper towells and free hot showers. Also, it’s usually cheaper. Tonight, we had to stop to ask for directions and the woman we asked was disparaging. “It’s only farmer camping,” she explained. Farmer camping with free showers and cheap pizza. What more could you ask?

And on day 4 the rolling hills become more rolly and the downhills are less than the up. We can see germany from here and wil arrive there tomorrow or the next day, but at spot north of here.

I don’t pull xena the whole time. Sometimes, I let her off leash. Like yeaterday, we came to bike path that narrowly wove between two pastures, a canal on either side. The problem about letting her run is that she has no idea that bikes can’t stop and turn as fast as she can. She has been alost hit so many times. It really annoys other bikers, understamdably, so she only gets to run in places without cars or other bikes. She still will get right in front of me and stop, turning to look at me with her wide dog grin. This wasn’t a problem yesterday afternoon, though, as she jumped over a canal, got under an electric fence and ran into a cow-filled pasture, directly at a startled jersey cow. She then raced around the pasture, pausing only to snack on cow shit. Alarming and funny, all at the same time.

We went crazy far yesterday.  Got to the campground after 22:00 and pitched tents in the darkness. It was cool, sorta.

Today the weather was really hot. 28°  We got a late start. I was tired and sore. We only went around 50k today, but we spent more time lounging than progressing. It’s the first time that it’s felt like summer in the netherlands. Finally gets here in august. I don’t mind the cooler weather, even if the clouds get me down.

We camped really early tonight. The sun is just now setting and I’m getting very sleepy.

Day 2

The second day out has receeded out of my memory, alas. We camped at a boat harbor.


Day 3

I was running low on batteries, so I texted yesterday’s distance to twitter. If you go to my blog, you can find twitter info in the right column. Today is sunny, so I’m better for power. Also better for biking, so far, we’re booking.

I realized that towing my dog to Denmark is nuts. Oh well.

We’re in geld-something province, having left holland and flavoland.  Holland is actually only two provinces of the netherlands. The most populated ones. Surprisingly, flavoland has rolling hills. Not totally flat. Crazy.