How to run Tor – the short version

Windows Users

  1. Download Tor
  2. Install it
  3. Install Torbutton
  4. Configure it to be a relay

Mac Users

  1. Download Tor
  2. Install it
  3. Install Torbutton
  4. Configure it to be a relay

Why

  • It protects you from your ISP or government spying on your data.
  • It allows other people to get around national firewalls, like the one in China or the one the UK is about to build
  • It promotes free speech and access to information in oppressed areas

Read more . . .

The Digital Economy Bill and Tor

The DEB is a soon to be new law and will be a very bad thing in the UK, but it just passed the House of Commons with virtually no debate. Explaining what it’s all about is a bit beyond me, so just click the link to read what it says, then come back here.
There’s two parts of it that seem especially troubling. One is that it seems to mandate the construction of a national firewall in the manner of the Great Firewall of China, in order to prevent people from breaking copyright. Of course, kiddiepron will also get on the list posthaste. And then terrorism. And then. And then. And then. Since the Apple iTunes store is incredibly profitable, the internet is clearly not destroying the ability of copyright holders to make money. Indeed, I do not believe that copyright is as much a motivator as is blocking access to websites such as wikileaks. That’s the website that has the leaked video of American troops killing a milling group of civilians and Reuters reporters. They leak incriminating documents from governments and corporations. Of course, the internal memos of corporations ordering baby seals to be clubbed to death or whatever are all copyrighted and certainly posted without permission. The US government has been actively trying to figure out how to shut down the site [PDF]. Brits just won’t be allowed to look at it.
The other troubling bit is the provision that people accused of doing forbidden things, like downloading the Colbert Report from bittorrent, will have their internet access cut off. This is at the same time that UK government services are increasingly moving online. Get your net cut off, and you cannot access government services. Is this really the appropriate punishment for a copyright violation? Note also that there’s no trial, no defence, just accusations. So if they get confused and think that your legal Creative Commons music might be a copyright violation, you get cut off whether you violated copyright or not.
Cafés and other locations will be unable to provide free wireless because they’d get cut off for having naughty patrons. Indeed, the era of free public wifi has probably just been legislated away. T-Mobile can still charge you for access, because they know who you are, but the café down the street can’t do that. The fact that this makes it much more expensive for people to get online is great for internet companies and crap for everybody else, especially people with limited resources.
The question that I have is how anybody would even know what you were doing with your internet connection anyway. There are two answers that I can think of: One is that media companies might put up “bait” files on firesharing services and watch who downloads them. The other, frankly more likely, method is for ISPs to spy on data. And if they can spy looking for people breaking copyright, they can also look for peadophiles and terrorists and anybody who is doing anything remotely unusual and you think you’ll be ok because you’re a politically centrist white middle class native-born citizen who never pirates anything, but maybe your kids do, or your computer caught a virus which caused it to do something naughty without your knowing about it or maybe you are just mistaken accused – you have no opportunity to defend yourself.

Tor

There are some programmes that can help. In this post, I’ll talk about Tor, which you should run. Go download it. It doesn’t matter what country you’re in, running Tor is a public service. This program routes network traffic around in funny ways (via peer to peer) so that somebody looking at your network traffic can’t tell what you’re doing. Also, if you live in a place like China (or soon to be the UK) it will find a way for you to get to the site you want. It defeats this kind of firewall.
How it works is that when a user tries to look at a webpage, they don’t connect to that webpage directly. Instead, they ask the Tor network for the web page. The request goes from person to person in the Tor network until it gets to somebody running an exit node. The exit node then asks for the page and sends the data back through the Tor network, from person to person, until it gets to the user. The users in between are helping the end user maintain their privacy. This can help bloggers in China, people who want freedom in Iran and other people engaging in prohibited political speech. Alas, it also helps people who are actually up to no good. But, I mean, you don’t want the post office to open and read everybody’s mail. You don’t want the government to know about every single movie you watch. Privacy protects good guys and it protects bad guys and it protects people who just want to quietly live their lives without intrusion.
Perhaps you, dear reader, live in some place with a government that respects your privacy. Good for you! You can help out people in other countries by running a Tor node, even if you don’t use it yourself. I’ve been doing this for years. I don’t notice the loss of bandwidth and I hope that I’m helping somebody in a repressive country get access to information. The major downside of Tor is that it’s kind of slow. But more nodes makes it run faster. And more exit nodes are a good thing. I just took mine down because I don’t want to get my access turned off due to the DEB, but if you live in the States or someplace that has due process of law, you should run an exit node. That’s the point at which traffic leaves the Tor network and goes to the regular network. So if somebody in China wants to read this very blog post (which is blocked there), an exit node in Texas might go ask blogspot.com for this page.

Installing and Configuring Tor

I use a Mac, but it should be similar on other systems. First, download it. Open the disk image and drag the Vidalia application to the /Applications folder. Don’t put it anyplace else. Then open it. A window will open. Click the icon that says “Set up Relaying.” A new window will open. It has tabs on it. You want to be on the “Sharing” tab. There are three options there. If you want to run an exit node, pick either “Relay traffic for the Tor network” or “Help censored users reach the Tor network.” If you do not wish to run an exit node, pick “Relay traffic for the Tor network.”
Some new tabs will open. First click on “Bandwidth Limits.” How fast is your internet connection? Pick something that seems right. Then click on the “Exit Policies” tab. If you do not wish to run an exit node, uncheck every box. Those boxes are the sort of data you’re allowing to exit, so if you have “Websites” checked, people who are looking for this blog post might exit from you. If you have “Instant Messaging (IM)” checked, people who are chatting on AIM or whatever might have their data getting onto AIM from you.
If you are running an exit node and somebody does something naughty and your country respects the rule of law, they cannot prove that it was you that asked for the naughty data, so you ought to be ok. I’ve been running an exit node for the last three years with no problems at all. Most traffic going through Tor is entirely innocent.
Now set Tor to start up automatically when you log in. You can do this by right clicking on the icon in the dock. On my mac, you put down two fingers on the trackpad, as if you were scrolling, and then click on it. A menu pops up. Go to opens and then Open at login. If you don’t have the two-fingers-means-right-click thing, I’m not sure how you do this. Somebody leave a comment?
You may also wish to install Torbutton for Firefox, something which is covered in the next section.

Using Tor

One way to make the Tor network more secure is to put a lot of traffic on it. If the only stuff that’s going by on it is stuff that people want to hide, then it’s somewhat easier for governments to figure out who has something to hide. So it’s for the best if a bunch of mundane stuff goes by. Boring stuff that nobody would ever want to snoop on. Then the really snoop-worthy stuff (like this very blog post in some countries) can get through undetected. However, the thing about bouncing traffic around from node to node is that it’s slow. Try it out and see if you want to deal with the slowness.
The easiest way to turn your own use of it on and off is through Tor button. There’s a script in the install package/ on the disk image called “Install Torbutton for Firefox.” If you have firefox this is very easy. Just install it and then you get a little bit of text on the lower right hand corner of the browser window. When it’s red and says “Tor Disabled”, you are browsing the web in the normal way – not through the Tor network. Your relay is still running. If you want to use Tor to browse the web and do other things, click on that text. It will turn green and say “Tor Enabled.” Your network traffic is now going through Tor. Try connecting to www.google.com. It will load the Google web page for whatever country your exit node is in. I just got German Google. Try searching for something and then clicking one of the links. You may notice that it’s slower than you’re used to. If you decide it’s too slow, just click on the green “Tor Enabled” text to turn it back off and browse the web normally. Your Tor node will still be running and helping other people, you just won’t be using it yourself.
During the time that you have enabled Tor with firefox, it’s enabled for all web browsing on your system. That means that if you enable Tor with firefox and then use the Chrome web browser, you will still be going through Tor. You can use firefox to turn Tor on, then quit firefox and it will still be on. If you want to turn it off, you can re-start firefox and click the green text in the lower right hand corner, or you can reboot your computer.

Using Camino as your stealth browser

Ideally, it would be cool if you could have one browser program that used it and another that didn’t, so you could use one for things that you want private or don’t mind slowness and the other for things you want to go faster. If you are a new user or are not a geek, you may wish stop reading now. Otherwise, this is how I got Camino to be my Tor browser while leaving other browsers untouched. Camino doesn’t have a pron mode, but it’s an ok browser for this – it’s more lightweight than firefox but fairly configurable.
When I opened the preferences for Vidalia, under general, there is a section on proxies. The proxy it lists is not privoxy, which is the one that is/was used by Tor button, but is something called polipo. On my system, it did not actually start because the conf file listed there conflicts with privoxy, which runs on port 8118. Polpio’s conf file tells it to run on that port, but the normal default port for polpio is 8123. I changed the conf file to reflect this and the polpio now starts for me. If this isn’t a problem for you, don’t change this.
Camino can be configured to use different proxy settings than the rest of the system. By opening the hidden preferences , which you do by typing “about:config” in the address bar. The settings in the link above did not fuly work for me, but I found a very helpful document elsewhere. I’ve got:
camino.use_system_proxy_settings set to false. network.proxy.autoconfig_url is set to http://127.0.0.1:8123/ . network.proxy.http is set to 127.0.0.1 and network.proxy.http is set to 8123. network.proxy.type is set to 1. Probably all the network.proxy.* and and network.proxy.*_port should be set to 127.0.0.1 and 8123 (or 8118 if you did not change the port for polpio), except for SOCKS which should be set to port 9050. For more information on web browsers, see here and to read more about Tor on OS X, look at this page.

The Free CD for Windows

Yesterday, I gave a talk about FOSS and music. I handed out modified copies of the Fossbox Free CD for windows. Here is the readme file that came with the CDs, along with links for where to download the software. For an additional resource, you should also check out Open Source Windows

Welcome to the Fossbox Free CD


The free CD gives you a taster of the free
software options available for Windows. In this document, you’ll find
a brief description of the software and links to instructions for
installing it. You can find free
tutorials and books to help you get the best from the software
on
the Fossbox website.

Note that if you
would like to buy Microsoft Office products, registered charities can
buy discounted MS software from Charity
Technology Exchange (CTX)
. Please note, this is available only to
registered charities.

Anti-virus software and security


ClamWin is a
free anti-virus programme. Download it here. This is free to any kind of user and it’s a small application which
won’t slow your older PC down too much. It automatically scans email
attachments in Outlook but not Thunderbird and it doesn’t scan files
on your hard-drive unless you do this manually.

If you want automatic
scanning, there are several commercial anti-virus products on the
market which are free for private individuals but not for registered
charities or non-profits. You will need to register and pay on their
site to use them if you are anything other than an individual home
user. They’re not included on the CD for copyright reasons.

Avira is one
of the smallest (that is, it doesn’t slow your PC much) and you
can download Avira’s free version for home use here
. If you’re an
organisation, they offer discounts for non-profits so it’s worth
emailing them and asking for a discount.

Kaspersky
Anti-Virus (KAV)
is very highly rated for security (but it has no
free version). Kaspersky offers a free
one-off scan
here or you can download
a trial version or buy KAV here

There is already a
simple firewall included with XP which will help protect your
PC from invasion via the internet. If you are using a USB modem you
might want something stronger. Zonealarm
has a free version of their very effective firewall
for
non-commercial use (which includes all non-profits).

Is your PC really
crawling along?
When you are browsing with XP’s own browser you
will usually find that the browser gets slower and slower over time.
This is because some corporations attach little bits of software to
your browser to track you around the web. You can reduce this problem
by using Firefox instead (see ‘Browsing the internet’ section
below). You can ‘clean’ your browser by using a simple programme
called Ad-aware. This can’t be included on the CD for
copyright reasons but you can download the free
version of Adaware here
. Adaware’s makers, Lavasoft, also offer
discounts to non-profits on their security software.

Office and project software


Open Office is a free
alternative to MS Office. It’s very similar and most people are able
to get started and carry on as usual without any special training to
use it. T has a word processor, a spreadsheet, presentation and
data-base with wizards. Download it here. There is a checkbox on the download page that you should leave checked. To get you
started using
Open Office you’ll find tutorials here
and some
flash tutorials here
.

Foxit
is a free viewer for
.pdf files which is very light and won’t slow your PC down. Foxit
is copyrighted but you can download it here. This software will allow you to read
pdf files and fill in interactive pdf forms. You can get tech support
at their
site
.

Scribus
is a free Desktop Publisher. Download it here. You’ll
find free
Scribus video tutorials here

Open
Workbench
is a free project management application. Download it here. Open
Workbench’s community support is here

Internet


Thunderbird
is a free email programme
. Download it here. To get started using Thunderbird
you will find illustrated
tutorials here
.

If you would like a
calendar, this can be added to Thunderbird. Follow
these illustrated instructions to add a calendar
.

You will find
Microsoft Outlook Express pre-installed with XP. This is a simple and
basic email programme ―
but is prone to viruses. Thunderbird is simple and has more features.

Browsing the internet


Windows XP has a web browser called Internet
Explorer. You open it by clicking on the blue ‘e’
.icon on your desktop.

There’s an alternative browser called Firefox. Firefox does not pick up as much ‘malware’ as you browse
the internet and has stronger privacy and security controls. Download it here. You can also find illustrated
instructions for installing Firefox here
.

Website editor


To help you make simple websites, Kompozer
is a visual HTML editor with formatting buttons. Download it here. You’ll find free
Kompozer tutorials here

These tutorials are for a previous version of
Kompozer called NVU but Kompozer is almost identical so you should be
able to get started:
http://www.designyourownweb.com/nvu/settingup-nvu.htm

To upload website files to the internet, you need
an FTP client so check out Filezilla. Download it here. Your
ISP will be able to give you the login information you need to set it
up – ask the people you rent your website space from.

Graphics


There are three graphics programmes included on
the CD.

If you want to do serious photo-editing, you need
the GIMP, a
fully-featured graphics programme
. Download it here. Free
GIMP tutorials here

Inkscape
is vector drawing software. Download it here. You’ll find tutorials
for Inkscape here

Paint.NET
is another image editor. Download it here.
Note
that Open Office also
has a vector drawing application.

Media


Multi-media player
VLC
is
a light and versatile alternative to Windows Media Player. Download it here.
Ripping DVDs
HandBrake
is a DVD ripper. Download it here.
Video Editing
VirtualDub
is a crude cut-and-paste video editor that takes interesting and
unusual custom plug-ins. Download it here.
Processing
is an open source programming language environment for people who
want to program images, animation and interactions. Download it here./P>

Making CDs


If you have a CD ROM capable of burning disks,
CDBurnerXP
is free CD burning software
which will create data, audio or disk
image (ISO) CDs. Download it here. It’s called CDBurnerXP but it
works fine with Vista.



Sound


Editor
Audacity
is a light-weight sound editor. There is a stable version and a beta version. The beta has more and better features, but you will need to save early and often. If that worries you, get the stable version instead. Download either version here.
Programming
Pd
is a real-time graphical dataflow programming environment for audio,
video and graphical processing. It is especially useful for rapid
prototyping and can be used to write reactive music or the iPhone via
the RjDj app. Download it here. If you want to write for iPhone, pick the vanilla version. Otherwise, get the extended version.
SuperCollider
is an environment and programming language for real time audio
synthesis and algorithmic composition. It has a bit of a learning
curve, however, it is extremely
powerful and useful. Download
it here
.

Accounting


GNUCash


GNUCash
is simple and basic accounting software designed for home and
small-business use. Download
it here
and
Free
tutorials for GNUCash here

TurboCash


Turbocash
is a professional accounting system including debtors, creditors,
general ledger, full stock control, VAT accounting, invoicing, bank
reconciliation, trial balance, balance sheet and income statements,
full reporting and analysis, as well as mutli-company and multi-user
capabilities.

Download
it here
. TurboCash is, apparently, easy to learn
if you’re an experienced bookkeeper or accountant but it’s definitely
not for beginners. If you’re inexperienced use GNUCash.

Portable Apps


Potable apps is a great idea – if you move
around a lot and use different PCs you’ve probably experienced the
frustration that your bookmarks and emails etc aren’t with you. If
you have a USB stick or external HD you can install the Portable Apps
Suite with a couple of clicks.

Portable apps puts a little icon in your system
tray (down at the bottom-right on XP) and when you click on it a menu
pops up allowing you to choose Firefox, Thunderbird and many other
familiar free software applications.

This means you always have your bookmarks and your
familiar software and when you use portable apps on someone else’s PC
it leaves no trace on their computer of your session – which is
great for your privacy and you don’t leave a mess behind you.

Download it here. Pick the “Suite Standard” if your USB stick is one gigabyte or bigger. Otherwise, pick the “Suite Light.” Once you’ve downloaded it, To install portable apps, insert your USB stick or
HD and make sure it has at least 200 MB of space free. Run the .exe program that you just downloaded. Make
sure you install it to the root of the USB device (that is, not
inside another folder). If you’re not sure, there’s
a video tutorial here

Try Ubuntu without
disturbing Windows


Wubi
installs the Ubuntu operating system so that it runs like any other
bit of software within Windows without messing up your Windows system
in any way. If you decide you don’t want it, you can also uninstall
it from ‘Add and Remove Programs’ in the Windows Conrol Panel. Download it here.
There are
step-by-step
illustrated instructions on using the Wubi installer

here and there’s a video
tutorial on YouTube which takes you through installing and using
Ubuntu with Wubi here

There are
instructions
for installing and uninstalling Wubi here



The Free CD for Mac

I just gave a talk about FOSS and music and gave out copies of the Fossbox free software CD for mac. Here is the readme file that came with it, with download links. You can also find a bunch of cool free mac software from the website http://www.opensourcemac.org/

Welcome to the Fossbox Free CD


The free CD gives you a taster of the free
software options available for the Mac. In this document, you’ll find
a brief description of the software and links to instructions for
installing it. You can find free
tutorials and books to help you get the best from the software
on
the Fossbox website.

Office and project software


Open
Office
is a free alternative to MS Office. It’s very similar and
most people are able to get started and carry on as usual without any
special training to use it. It has a word processor, a spreadsheet,
presentation and data-base with wizards. Download it here.To get you started
using
Open Office you’ll find tutorials here
and some
flash tutorials here
.

If you find Open
Office to be too slow, Neo
Office
is a mac-specific version of it that has fewer features
but quite a bit more speed. You can download
it here
.

Skim
is a PDF viewer that allows you to modify and annotate PDF files, for
example, by filling in forms. Download it here.

Scribus
is a free Desktop Publisher. Download it here. You’ll
find free
Scribus video tutorials here

Internet


Thunderbird
is a free email programme
. Download it here. and
follow the on-screen instructions. To get started using Thunderbird
you will find illustrated
tutorials here
.

If you would like a
calendar, this can be added to Thunderbird. Follow
these illustrated instructions to add a calendar
.

Browsing the internet


Although the Safari browser is included with OS X,
there’s an alternative browser called Firefox. Download it here.. It
has more features and is more customisable.

Website editor


To help you make simple websites, Kompozer
is a visual HTML editor with formatting buttons. Download it here.You’ll find free
Kompozer tutorials here

These tutorials are for a previous version of
Kompozer called NVU but Kompozer is almost identical so you should be
able to get started:
http://www.designyourownweb.com/nvu/settingup-nvu.htm

To upload website files to the internet, you need
an FTP client so check out Filezilla. You can download it here.. (In order to install it, you
may need to first install The Unarchiver utility. Click the link to download it.)
Your ISP will be able to
give you the login information you need to set up FileZilla – ask
the people you rent your website space from.

Instant Messaging


Audium
allows you to connect to multiple IM accounts, including Facebook, in
a single app. Download it here.

File Sharing


Transmission
is a Bit Torrent client. Download it here..

Graphics


There are two graphics programmes included on the
CD.

If you want to do serious photo-editing, you need
the GIMP, a
fully-featured graphics programme
. Download
it here
. Gimp on OS X requires X Windows, which is included with
your system CD or a free version can be downloaded
here
. Free
GIMP tutorials here

Inkscape
is vector drawing software., which also requires X Windows. Download it here. You’ll
find tutorials
for Inkscape here

Note
that Open Office also
has a vector drawing application.

Media


Multi-media player
VLC
is
a light and versatile movie player which opens more types of movies
than Quicktime. Download it here.


Ripping DVDs
HandBrake
is a DVD ripper. Download it here.


Video Editing
Processing
is an open source programming language environment for people who
want to program images, animation and interactions. Download it here..

Sound


Editor
Audacity
is a light-weight sound editor. There is a stable version and a beta version. The beta has more and better features, but you will need to save early and often. If that worries you, get the stable version instead. Download the stable version here. or Download the beta version here.


Ardour
is a a fully-featured Digital Audio Workstation with plug-in support
that can be used for serious audio projects. You can download it here. They will ask you if you want to donate to the project. You can put whatever amount you wish in the box, including $0.
Ardour
relies on a helper application called Jack,
which is also useful in it’s own right. Download
Jack here
.


Programming
Pd
is a real-time graphical dataflow programming environment for audio,
video and graphical processing. It is especially useful for rapid
prototyping and can be used to write reactive music or the iPhone via
the RjDj app.
Download PD here.



SuperCollider
is an environment and programming language for real time audio
synthesis and algorithmic composition. It has a bit of a learning
curve, however, it is extremely
powerful and useful. Download
it here
.

Catholic Church PR

So the Catholic Church paedophilia crisis continues to look worse and worse. I try not to follow this story too closely, but it’s hard to miss, especially given the appalling misbehaviour of the church hierarchy. The ways they’ve been making excuses lately also does not help.
For instance, Bill Donahue of the Catholic League ran an advert in the New York Times, which said that priests molesting children is somehow the fault of gay people thus reminding people that in addition to enabling the rape of children, the church has also campaigned heavily against the civil rights of LGBT people, including stripping us of marriage rights in California.
Then, on Good Friday, a vatican sermon linked the news coverage of the systematic and widespread rape of children to anti-semitism, with the logic that calling attention to a conspiracy to protect rapists is somehow like the genocidal murder of 6 million Jews. Which, it should be noted, the church didn’t exactly have a problem with, since they never bothered to excommunicate or even dissuade their faithful churchgoing member, Adolf Hitler. Indeed, if you are looking for the organisation that enables the raping thousands of children and murdering millions of jews, well, here’s one that stands at the intersection of both.
Will they next compare media attention and police investigations to the Spanish Inquisition? Perhaps to the enslaving of Native Americans in Missions? Maybe it’s like denying women access to reproductive health care?
Their message seems to be, “Hey, in comparison with the other horrible abuses we’ve participated in, raping a few thousand little kids isn’t so bad!” When I try to think of what would Jesus do, I think he would tell them to STFU.

Gaga Over Information Overload

Penguin Books has a video about the future of publishing that’s quite clever. The cleverness starts halfway in and requires you to have watched the first half, so stick it out.
Part of what struck me about the video, aside from it’s strategic use of where it put the word “not,” was how it places caring “about what Lady Gaga is wearing” in binary opposition to caring “about what Gandhi did 50 years ago.” I find this annoying, because I actually care about both. I mean, obviously a liberation movement was more immediately vital while it was going on. But, for example. Gaga’s costume in the prison yard of the Telephone video, with the lit cigarettes on her glasses, is also interesting and worthy of discussion. It’s less vital than liberation movements that are going on right now, but I would not want to have to rank it against other bits of current cultural output.
Indeed, I think what she’s wearing is some of the most compelling part of her performance and presentation. Her music is acceptable pop music. Some of it is catchy. But the visual images in her videos and her glammness is stunning. In this age, visual information is much more dominant than audio – we read more than we hear and we watch even more yet. Videos and the written word are the primary means of dispersing information. So even though she’s ostensibly a musician, her artistry seems to be concentrated in the visual sphere.
I went to a club last night and the people I was with were all talking about her (well, they were shouting over the din of exceedingly bad DJing). Jack Halberstam (of Female Masculinities fame) has got a blog post up about her. There’s almost certainly conferences being planned at this moment: Gaga and Postfeminism etc etc etc. She is the hot thing right now in pop culture and cultural studies and litres of virtual ink are being spilt over her – by people who are “smart” enough to care about Gandhi. There are elitists who want to posit that the analysis of images and ideas within a culture s vapid. Such a bias is not only wrong, it’s boring. Snobbery is tiresome.
Gaga is all so very now, immediate and new and clamouring for attention. Blog posts, news articles, tweets, facebook wall posts, background babble, shouting in clubs. This is the kind of effervescent pop phenomenon that one could easily miss while on an extended holiday or just taking a break from media saturation. The hype is not, in and of itself, vapid, but some portion of it is intended to be distracting. The hype machine is less interesting than her fascinating videos. It constitutes part of the information overload that keeps one from working on one’s thesis. I want to create a piece that is about information overload in some way.
For my MA thesis, I incorporated the distracting barrage of information directly into my work. At that time, I was overly interested in cable news cycles and pundits. I could sample them directly. But sampling Gaga directly raises additional copyright issues as making music from her music is clearly a derivative work and requires permission. Also, her musical work is already music and her visual output is tied to her music.
So is it possible to engage her work within the genre of electroacoustic / noise music without taking recognizable samples of her directly? I could calculate her frequency spectrum and work within that or copy some of her timbres, like pitch correction or the glitchy repeating in the telephone song. But even if I was able to successfully allude to her music, it’s still not what’s most interesting about her. I’m instead taken with the changing contexts of corpses in Paparazzi and Telephone. And by her use of repeated images and objects to tie her videos together: the gold jaw of Bad Romance is referenced again in Paparazzi, where the dogs of Poker Face also make a brief cameo. There’s a boom box in Telephone that is also in a previous video (which one?!?). The camera lingers on it. The viewer is meant to notice. How could that be explored in my music? Or can it? Am I just distracting myself?

Gaga Video: Post Feminism and Americana

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about Lady Gaga’s new video for her song Telephone:

What to make of this? There are some who want to put a feminist label on it, due to Girl Power-esque elements of the video, like the truck labelled “Pussy Wagon” and the female symbol at the end. However, I think this is a misreading. She references Thelma and Louise rather obviously at the end, but much of the rest of it is from exploitation movies of the 70’s. My media studies prof gf notes that these existed in dialog with the women’s liberation movement and thus the video is squarely within a post-feminist context.
I have the same problems with this video that I have with Natural Born Killers (which also clearly influenced it) in that it’s really much too violent to be camp. Lesbian serial killers are the stuff of exploitation films. And, of course, that scene of underwear dancing in the prison is just standard male-gaze music video stuff. It is slightly more complex than this, in that there are ‘real’ seeming lesbians in the prison yard scene. The leather clad dyke appeals to actual lesbians and is less easily placed in the male gaze.
There is also a lot of talk about product placement, which I think is also more complex than it initially appears. I’m sure Virgin was happy to be in the video and may even have paid for it, but Polaroid doesn’t even make those cameras or film anymore and I’m sure Wonder Bread and Miracle Whip are not exactly pleased to be linked with poisoning people to death. I think, instead, the products are meant to construct an image of Americana. The tropes of the video: prison, joshua trees, diners, cheap motel rooms, serial killers, pick up trucks, fuzzy dice; are all very american. And Gaga and Beyonce dancing around in pseudo Wonder Woman outfits at the end explicitly reference the flag, as do the placemats in the diner.
Thus we have an image of America made up of incarceration, road trips and violence. And the formation of (national) identity through consumption. Which may be depressing accurate, but at least is heavily satirised in the video. This is the biggest video in, like, forever and it’s been banned form MTV: the final sign of their irrelevance, as it’s easily viewable via YouTube. The major disappointment is the music. What in that song called out for that treatment? The lyrics talk about being too busy dancing ata club to talk on the phone. It’s ironic when paired with a prison fight scene, but, still, wtf? It’s no Thriller. And yet, every time I watch the video, it grows on me a little.

Now that I’m 34

I’m going to eat my vegetables; I’m going to go to bed and get up at a reasonable time; I’m going to finish my damn degree and graduate and find a job.
Birthdays don’t really feel like milestones anymore, just an excuse to go to the pub with friends. Or sometimes they feel like a yardstick, like by the time my parents were my age, they were actually kind of in the same sort of space I’m in now, so I guess that’s ok. Still, no PhD, no tenure track post, no CDs out. I might not be the young hot shot I thought I was.
My laptop has been broken for almost 3 weeks. Apple support in Europe really bites. I have borrowed a laptop running Ubuntu Stdio, which is very nice. But I miss having RAM. Also, I’m somewhat shocked to discover that the phone in my pocket is probably as powerful as the laptop I had before the current, broken one. It’s certainly more powerful than the one I’m borrowing. So I’m trying to compile SuperCollider on it. It’s very strange to be installing developer tools on my phone. I keep stopping with an overwhelming, “oh my god, it’s the future” feeling. And since the Brit police actually used a hovering drone thing to arrest some poor sod last week, it’s not the Asmiov future I’d wanted.
I’m sometimes kind of amazed by the date, like, holy shit, it’s 2010. I’m too young to be old. And yet.
The time is coming soon when I will have a 3rd date with a non-queer straight cis woman and need to disclose and I still have not figured out what to say. “Have you heard of Buck Angel?” seems like a poor opening gambit. So does invoking the pregnant man. I don’t know how well people here have heard of Chaz Bono.
I’m entirely assuming that people are cis though. I remember when I came out as gay to my highschool boyfriend. I agonized about it for some time. How to tell him? Would he be hurt by this revelation? I called him up. “I need to tell you something.” I said, and hemmed and hawed and finally, “I’m gay.” In a casual voice, he said, “Oh, me too.”
It’s probably somewhat more unlikely that disclosing my trans status will lead to a ‘me too,’ alas.

. . .

When my dad was 34, he married my mom. He asked her to marry him on the first date. She said yes on the third. I seem to remember that he told me that she had decided she was going to say yes even before he’d asked. They knew each other already, through a group for Catholic singles. Everyone in the group coupled off, which was, of course, the point. But in the mean time, there was group socializing, camping trips, bike trips, going places, doing things. The days before OkCupid seem like they were a bit more fun, or at least more likely to lead to lifelong friendships.

The NHS said yes

On monday, I had my second appointment with the gender clinic at Charing Cross (which moved to Hammersmith in 1973). The doctor tried a bit too hard to be charming as he asked me all the same questions as I’ve been asked innumerable times.
He wanted to know my family tree. Do I have any LGBT family members? What’s my first memory of gender issues? At what age did I leave school? Do I have any friends? (Would they lend me £20 if I asked?) Do I take drugs? Etc etc etc
He also asked me the last time I wore a dress. “That includes weddings and funerals.” I can’t remember. I know I put one on occasionally as a joke at Mills. Nicole said it made me look like a footballer in drag for a comedy skit. As it happens, I’m not really into cross-dressing, and I’m not really genderqueer these days. But the question is troubling for transmen who do like to drag it up a bit. It’s even more alarming for those dealing with intense family pressures. Do we want to force people into being ostracized so they can get the treatment they need? I don’t know what would have happened if I’d said less than 2 years rather than guessing 15.
But, as it worked out, he said I will be having top surgery “rather quickly.”!!!!! As soon as my PCT approves the funding. I asked if being here on a student visa was going to be an issue and he pointed out that they were already paying for me to talk to him. He said that the primary concern of doctors is what’s best for their patients and described the NHS as a vast left-wing conspiracy.
This was one of those moments when I really love Britain. God bless the NHS! The good doctor also suggested that I become British. I’d love to.

Advice for Migrant Trans People in the UK

The doctor also gave me a very useful bit of advice, that I need to double-check with my university, but which sounds very good. He said that I could change my name in the UK and put off changing my name at home until it’s feasible. He says there is no problem having one legal name and gender in one country and a different name and gender in another. I need to verify that I can still get my uni to give me the right forms to extend my student visa, but I think their non-discrimination statement for trans people means they will be willing to deal with the two names problem.
Of course, it’s not ideal to carry around a US passport with name change documents. What I need is government-issued ID, ideally with the right name and gender. He told me that I can apply for a provisional drivers liscence. I do not need to learn to drive, it’s basically a permit to learn which doubles as a photo ID. He said he knew of a blind person who had one. It stays valid for years and counts as proof of legal residency and can be used as a travel document (instead of a passport) within the EU. He is going to post me a letter which I can use to get the correct gender markers.
I don’t know if I’m happiest for finding out I’m getting top surgery or for finding there’s an easy solution to my paperwork disaster. I’m also wondering if I can use British documents to bluster my way through getting stuff changed in the US. To change my name in Alameda County, California, I need to publish a notice in the newspaper and then get on a 4+ month waiting list to appear in person, in court. It would be a hassle if I wasn’t abroad. Changing my gender on my US passport is even more of a hassle, to the point whre I think becoming a British citizen might even be easier.