Hrm, my mom has been asleep for the last 3 days. we just got her a reclining wheelchair. it’s been like this all along. as soon as we figure out how to deal with whatever stage she’s in, she moves on to the next one. I used to make a big deal about saying doobye to her, getting all maudalin about when the last time she was going to be able to say goodbye would happen. well, i made such a big deal about it that, until she got sleepy, everytime my dad or i or anyone kissed her, she would say “goodbye, have a good night. i love you.” so i realized it was a stupid thing to make a bid deal about it. but maybe it had meaning to her. anyway, last time she was awake i didn’t make a big deal about it and now she’s asleep. i wasn’t really paying enough attention to her. my dad is acting like it is a huge change that she’s sleepy all the time, but she was pretty unengaged the last time i saw her awake. anyway, if she can’t wake up she can’t swallow medicine. my dad wants to wait until tuesday to talk to the hospice nurse about getting a suppository form of the anti-seizure medicine, because the nurse has an appointment for tuesday. i think he should give them a call today or tomorrow. just because she hasn’t had a seizure yet doesn’t mean that she won’t have one. i don’t understand his motive for waiting. does he think that if they don’t witness it, maybe it’s not real yet? maybe it will reverse itself if we refuse to adjust? or maybe he’s noticed that she changes when we adjust and if we respond to her being unconscious, she’ll die. He asked me to start writing a biography of her. goodness, i have no idea what to write. My mom was born a long time ago and went to college and got a job and was very happy and then gave it all up to get married and have ungrateful children. that’s her autobiography from my childhood, especially when i was being uncooperative. She was a med tech, which meant she drew people’s blood and then looked at it for abnormalities and sometimes diagnosed diseases based on the blood samples. She said, “I had doctors coming to me for advice. Doctors! Now it’s ‘Where’s my socks?'” Um, then she inheritted a lot of money and became involved in 327467312649 charities and suddenly started making friends thanks to the miracle of anti-depressants. Then, just as she was getting into leadership roles in all of her organizations and finally found her footing, she got a brain tumor. everybody in the world thought she was super sweet and loved her, but very few of them came to visit. her family members avoided seeing her. the end.

all you people who think dogs are gross and cats arent: (christi, don’t read this)
I was leaving yesturday and just as i was opening the door, a cat threw up. I told myself that the cat was actually going to throw up 5 minutes in the future and i would not discover it until i got home and i left with the dog. when i got back, the cat barf was gone.
now all of you cat people go on and on about cats being self-cleaning and how dogs are stinky and will eat anything. looks like cats have disgusting diets too. or maybe they’re just very very clean. yuck.

Call up monday and tell folks you’re opposed to war:

In California, Senators Dianne Feinstein and Barbara
Boxer can be reached at:
 
Feinstein
Tel: 415-393-0707 or 202-224-3841 (in Washington DC)
Fax: 415-393-0710
Email: senator@feinstein.senate.gov
 
Boxer
Tel: 415-403-0100 or 202-224-3841 (in Washington DC)
Fax: 415-956-6901
Email: senator@boxer.senate.gov
 

President Bush’s office can be reached at:
Tel: 202-456-1414
Fax: 202-456-2461
Email: president@whitehouse.gov
 
Note the local numbers. The local voicemailbox is full right now.

My favorite cousin (who is actually first cousin to my grandmother (god rest her soul)) wrote a letter to my mom that reminisces about their shared experiences when they were 16 or 17. Uh… except for the 20+ year age difference…. and it contains the sentence “As I recall, your dad was the first to advertise coffee on the radio.” My relations are exhibitting a disturbing lack of robustness.
I’m listening to a live radio stream from Fausto at Shirley and Spinoza (http://www.compound-eye.org/radio/index.htm). Apparently this is the first time he’s live streamed, so he’s excited. This is the radio station responcible for my US radio priemere. No really.

Christi’s grandpa is allergic to vicadin. Really allergic. So what happened to him a couple of days ago is that he went iinto allergic shock. So he’s going to be ok, provided he avoids vicadin in the future. He’s going to have to get one of those bracelets that says he’s allergic to it, so he doesn’t die if gets in a car crash and they give him painkillers or whatever. Anyway, he’s ok, but Christi is visitting him as I type.

Concert Review: Women’s Looping Festival

The concert started at 7:00, which is a sucky time, because you don’t really have time to eat before then on a weekday. So imagine my surprise when, after paying the $7 admission, I saw the buffet. The concert came with food. There was a lot of meat, but also salad and hummus, the vegan standby. It was pretty good. There was alos a bar where one could purchase alchoholic beverages (probably non alchoholic ones too) and bring them into the show.
So I got to the show on time, but got distracted by the food and missed part of the first act. The music was in a long skinny room, with the stage along a long wall. It’s an intimate setting, but there was a pretty good group of people there. The first woman was mostly doing stuff with prerecorded tracks and echo/delay fx. She was talking about her cats and then about Saddam Hussein (she was pro-peace). She had some peaking problems with the mic and hasn’t quite figured everything out yet. Later I heard her say that it was her first show. So it was great for a first show. I think she was called Audio Goddess.
The second woman did world music stuff. She sang some traditional folk songs, harmonizing with her own voice through looping. She’s still learning the technology, and was explaining about how she has slightly changed her vocal technique. She has not yet found her voice for looping, but is very promising. Her music was entertaining and good. She had slight timing problems, but they’ll smooth out as she figures out the technology more. And I doubt non-musicican types heard any timing problems or anytthing at all beyond a good set. She was Unity Nguyen.
The next act was into ambient. She had a ton of percussion equipment, but mostly used her voice. Since she was ambient, her work was very static and I foudn my mind wandering, so I don’t know if she used any of her equipment or not, except I saw her bowing a cymbal. I think she could have used some more resin on the bow. She was heavy into echo fx and apparently didn’t turn down her percussion mic when she was recording vocals, since she ended up with a recording of her voice making a snare drum hum. I was too far away to see, so there may not have been a snare drum, and it certainly could have been on purpose. She did two or three songs. They kind of sounded the same to me. She has a CD out. I was not super-impressed, but my companion thought she was great. Ambient is not my favorite genre to lsiten to, but I can be fun to create. Some of her stuff sounded like it was decaying as it looped (that’s a good thing) and making space for her new tracks. That’s a cool fx (is it effect or affect?). Her name was Dark Muse.
The next person did some very light elevator techno with electric guitar over it and spoken words, but I think her mic was turned off. This was either her fault or a poor sound check. She used a e-bow thing for the guitar. So did the person previous to her. It seems to be the thing for ambient people. She also did some straight guitar stuff. She was heavy into fx. One of her synths seemed to be a guitar synth, so it made it more difficult to tell exactly what she was playing when, although certainly the sound is the most important thing. She has some wacky controller that worked like a theramin. It was set up to play discreete notes (for instance, through the guuitar synth) instead of continiuosly varying a frequency, like a regular theremin. Her work was also very static, but the songs sounded different. She travelled from someplace far, like Boulder, to play in San Jose. I think she’s blind. Her name was CQ.
Finally, Amy X Neuburg, the headliner came on. Amy X is a master of the technology. Her timing is perfect, the knows how to use a microphone and her songs are all different from each other and entertaining. Also, she has a mastery of her voice and has a wide range of pitch and style. She has a lot of experince using her set up and has a lot of practice. Her songs were often funny. They were very multilayerd. They were also multi-parted, so she would start with one theme, leave it and then come back to it. She had one song about her Neuroses that listed things she forgot to do and included “Oh no, I forgot to have children.” She laos talked about going to the grocery store at 3:00 AM while stoned and how messy her apartment was. It was the best song of the set, although the others were good. At the end, she received a standing ovation, so she came back to end with a song called Finnish, which was in Finnish.
Amy X is really in a different league than the other artists, but I think it’s a good idea to have people of varrying success and ability play the same show. Punk rock shows do this all the time, where they put on inexperienced bands, who may need more practice but show promise, on first and close with a great act who plays with mastery. New music shows (or “festivals”) typically instead borrow from the classical tradition where people of equal talent are grouped together. So an artist’s first show might have only freinds and family present. With the punk rock/San Jose Museum model, the person playing her fiorst show had a crowd of 40 people or more. Also, people can trickle in through out the evening and know that the best is on last. More new music shows ought to be run this way. Also, maybe because it was in San Jose and culture there is sparse, it was a really well-attnded show. the same show in the City or the East Bay would have had far fewer people in attendance.
Anyway, I was wondering how to send a tape to the organizer when he came on stage and announced the next festival, which he would be performing at, playing day-glo green plastic. Everyone around me (who had been to Woodstockhausen) gasped. Woodstockhausen people are everywhere!
Media reference: http://www.bayarea.com/mld/bayarea/entertainment/music/4198158.htm

Christi has left me her laptop, so I am lying in bed and updating my blog. I used to day dream about doing things like this. I have Christi’s previous castoff laptop as my very own now, so I could do it, but that one has a terrible keyboard. Also, it got upgraded until it was too slow, so I’s need to back up to System 8 to get decent performance out of it. Anyway, with Christi’s shiny new not-yet-over-upgraded laptop, I can lie in bed with a good keyboard and slack away, totally prone. Not totally, prone cuz then i couldn’t see the keyboard, and i’m not any sort of touch typist, especially with these nice but tiny keys. I’ve got her laptop so I can try out her score notation software. You enter in notes into whatever type of score you’ve picked up (I’ve got a percussion score open) and then you can play them back and hear a good midi rendition of the instruments you’ve chosen. I know, welcome to the 1980s, this is not a new thing. But it’s new to me. First of all, the MIDI sounds actually sound good. Secondly, I never quite got my notation software working. It’s mostly designed for people who want to do MIDI pop songs, so it uses that piano roll method of showing notes and if you get into score mode, it’s a pain to edit the notes. And it’s more designed for people to play something into the program then painstakingly type in each note. But Siebelus is aimed at composers. It’s aimed at composers who want to spend a lot of money and then only be able to install on one computer. So this is Christi’s software on her computer and not mine. Also, it’s got the best splash screen of any program. I like to start and restart the program so I can hear the violin line do that great tension/resolving thing. yikes.

Christi is gone and I am all alone until Sunday night. If I was smarter, this could have been better planned. We could have gone to see my mom in the morning today and then again sunday evening (after leaving a bit early) and I would have just taken my regular day off and instead I will be all by lonesome. Christi’s grandpa has suffered some sort of major medical event. One moment he was talking to matthew, the next he was on the ground, sweaty and cold with no discernable breathing or pulse. Matthew called 911 and attempted to fake CPR. (hey people: go take a CPR class. Your work may offer them for free. And if you’re not working, well then you have time. It doesn’t take that long to learn and it’s clearly a valuable skill.) Anyway, due to Matt’s fast acting, Grandpa was transported to the hospital and revived. Last I heard he was complaining that he was in the hospital. One second he’s talking to Matthew, next thing you know he’s in the hospital. Why did they do that? He whines a lot about disruptions to his schedule. So he sounds ok, but I don’t know. Christi was on the way to Riverside to visit Tiffany, but now she’s going on to San Bernadino to see her grandpa too. Hopefully she will call with updates as to his health. I’m all out of my own grandparents (lately not doing so well with parents either), so I made an agreement to borrow Christi’s. I’m not in favor of this death thing. I’d like to speak to the manager. Somebody better tell me what’s going on with Grandpa. Christi’s cousins all beleive him to be immortal as he seems so old and yet also seems to be as healthy as a mule. We’ll see. Last time I saw him, he seemed to be as stubborn as a mule. He had a hernia operation only a couple days ago, which this seems like it’s related to (at least to me) and I think that operation wouldn’t have been done unless he was pretty healthy going into it or the hernia was really really bad. Anyway, I should head south. Last couple times I saw my mom, she was doing terribly, but my brother came wich is a minor miracle, I guess. Today I am wasting massive amounts of water on my little container garden. some of plants have started looking yellowish, maybe because they’re at the end of their lifecycle, but they are suppossed to flower more before they go. I have a brown thumb. Not good with plants, animals or people.

I heard a shout down the hallway, “Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated!”
“My god, is it the borg?” I asked.
“No, my darling,” Shiela said, trying to assuage me, “it’s the new homeland security forces working with the INS to process green card applicants.”
“How archaic!” I looked around, “We must have made the wrong turn and gotten into the federal building.”
“Oh no, my darling,” she said in a voice that filled me with apprehension, “they work everywhere.”
Shelia could stand to be more articulate at times, but she does know what’s going on and besides that, she dresses up my arm very nicely. I motioned that we should duck into a sidehallway. There are some standing warrants for my arrest and an aprehension was not on my agenda for the day.
“We should move from here, my darling.” shelia whispered in my ear. I misread her ardor and kissed her passionately, when I was suddenly assialed from behind. I was out faster than an incandescent lightbulb in a power surge, but apparently Selia put up quite a fight. I came to in a bare concrete room with a bare lightbulb overhead, the very image of asperity, but there was more in store.
“where am I?” I asked, before I got my bearings.
“Ah,” an unknown voice said, “your antipathy toward the law finally caught up with you, Mr. Anderson.”
I sat up. “Look, you’ve got the wrong guy. I’m not even a guy. I’m just Jane Smith, like it says on my drivers liscence.”
“One of you many aliases, Mr Anderson.” the voice spat out with heavy antagonism. I could just make out the speaker standing in the shadows of the room.
“Where’s Shelia?” I demanded.
A shadow next to the speaker moved suddenly and he collapsed to the ground. shelia stepped out of the shadows.
“What took you so long?” I asked as she took my cuffs off
“I was waiting for you to inquire after me.”
I assayed myself, checking for injury. “That’s a pretty arbitrary time to come to the rescue.”
“I had to make sure they didn’t assimilate you. The door is this way.”
As I wondered what was going on, she led me out into an utterly arid desert. Fortunately there was a dune buggy parked there, because it would be a long, waterless walk otherwise.
“Can you explain what’s going on? just start from the top.” I said after we hotwired the buggy and started acorss the sands.
She was driving so she gestured towards her purse. Inside was a document, whose edges were handpainted with intriquite arabesque but whose content was utterly arid.
“It’s all in there.” she said.
I read the whole thing. “My god!” I said, “this sinister plot must be stopped!”
Shelia handed me my revolver.