Better than self-published

Innova Recordings (http://www.innova.mu) will maunfacture your CD, do cover art designs, proofing, jewel cases, printing, PR, etc of 1000 CDs for about $5.24 per CD (please note that this estimate has significant digit errors. I ought to say about $5.00 a CD, but anyway…). At then end of the process, you get to have 950 CDs sitting in your basement or studio or whatever. I know a guy who self-produced 2000 CDs and he still has more than 1700 of them, despite giving copies to everyone remotely in the music buisiness. It’s a good CD, but he’s got no buzz. Neither do I.
So even if I create the most fxcking awesome faux audio language course ever thought up by a human being, who the hell is going to buy a copy? Which is why I should stick to “selling” my CD via Mp3.com. The quality sucks. No record stores carry it. It’s never had a review. I’ve sold exactly one copy. and it’s only cost me about 20 bucks (buying copies and giving them to family). which is a higher per-disk rate than a real record company, but I don’t have 950 disks in my basement.
I’m glad that music school is going to be free, cuz there’s just no way I would ever be able to make back my tuition otherwise. And there’s no way that I could make back $5k on a run of my CDs, whether I printed 1000 or 10000 or 100, cuz nobody would buy it. Of course, if it were all about the money, I’d be working for a startup in Palo Alto making software for corporations to spy on their employees’ email, IM conversations and websurfing habits (yes, I’ve had a job offer. I considered it for about one milisecond. Yes, I know I’m lucky to be able to say no). But I don’t really want to schlep 950 CDs to Middletown either.

Learn Language Audio Course

Man, those things are useless. what’s the gender of the noun? who knows? but my suitcase is on the train! (oh no!)
Piece idea: Audio course in esperanto. starts out straightforward with sections you would expect. “Section 1 – Greetings” “Aro Unu – Salutojn” But starts getting progressively stranger. and the “boing” between sections gets more elaborate, until it starts overlapping with the language section and turns into full pieces of music. “boooing zooom bewww bweeee excuse me, my hamster is rabid…” etc. all of this will be microtonal, of course…
I need a fluent esperanto collaborator. i wonder if ed would do it?
wait, maybe i should do it in german, since i’ll have to take a test in it. Verzeihung! Mein Hamster hat die Tollwut. (I wonder if “rabies” will be on the exam…)
Joanna Russ, author of The Female Man, did a funny, short phrasebook for interstellar travellers. It has phrases like, “That is my travelling companion. It is not a tip. I will call the manager.” It would be perfect, especially with “hello”, “goodbye”, “nice to meet you” spliced in at the beginning. The language would have to be Esperanto or Klingon or something, since a national language might be offensive in that context. I wonder if she would go for it.

More tuning

Tiffany admitted to not fully reading my blog because of the technical nature of my subject matter!!! Anyway, it’s not like I know what I’m talking about. But to rectify this, I just joined The Just Intonation Netowrk and they’re going to send me a book and some magazines. I like getting magazines in the mail. I probably don’t need the magazines, but I think Christi might enjoy them. She loves tuning.

Tuning (or Math Is Hard)

I’m readin Harry Partch’s Genesis of a Music to try to find out how this just intonation thing works. Briefly, Just intonation is “natural” tuning based on ratios. Think of a guitar string: if you divide it in half, you get an octave. If you divide it by three you get a fith (sort of). All tunings until recently were based on fractions. Then we switched to irrational numbers. So your piano is now tuned irrationally. (I always suspected as much.)
Harry Partch’s book is out of print. This is not actually shocking. The first section is a history of opera and vocal music from Plato through the early twentieth century, seen as a fight between those who think notes out to mirror words and those who think words ought to be bended or exaggerated to fit notes. There are definitely bits of wisdom in there, but my goodness, it’s not an easy read. He certainly has a liking for five dollar words. Why use a short word when a longer one will do? His thesis (whatever it is) becomes a victim of unintended irony. The notes ought to be working for the words, but with the words he uses, I think Webster’s dictionary is driving his writing. Or maybe he studied for the GREs much harder than I did.
Then comes the mathematical part. I foolishly thought I had some idea of just intonation because of a computer program I wrote around fifth or eigth grade. I had programmed the computer (in BASIC, of course) to play several Christmas Carols. But I thought it would be cool if I could program it (in BASIC) to write new songs and play them. This started very simply:
playsound(random(), 2); play a “random” pitch for two miliseconds. This is, incidentally, the sound played by the computer game Gauntlet when you exit a level. My brother was kind of excited. But it’s not really very musical, so I decided to generate arpegios.
An arpegio is a “broken chord.” It is all the notes of a particular chord played sequentially instead of all at once. An arpegio on C would play C, then E, then G, (then maybe high C followed by G,) then E, then C. Do Mi Sol Mi Do. My program picked a pitch in the scales that we’re used to (A= 440 Hz) and generated an arpegio on top of it using fractions. Let $N be the starting pitch.
$sol = $N * 3 / 2; This is easy to deduce because of the overtone series on a brass instrument. (I’m ignoring transposition here.) The pedal tone on a trumpet is C. The low open note on a trumpet is C, one octave higher. The next open note is G. A pedal tone is a note that isn’t usually played as it’s too low and hard to produce. The wavelength of a pedaltone is equal to the length of the horn. The low open note, one octave higher, has a wavelength equal to half the length of the horn. The next open note is one third of the length of the horn. The next note, another octave of C, is equal to one quarter the length of the horn. All open notes on a trumpet or baritone or tuba or whatever have a whole number relationship to the length of the horn.
The frequncies are related by the same whole note ratio, but inversely. The first open note (above the pedal tone) uses half the horn and is double the frequency (in Hz). The next open note uses one third of the horn and is triple the frequency of the pedal tone. So it you had a brass horn where the pedal tone was A (220 Hz), the first open tone would be 440 hz (the note A) and the next open tone would be 660 Hz (the note E). Ok, now, see how A is both 220 and 440? It’s also 110 and 880. Every octave is a doubling of frequency. If you want to find a pitch one octave higher, then you multiply by 2. If you want the octave lower, you divide by two. This sounds right. If your piano is perefctly in tune, every A on it will be double the frequency of the A below and half the frequency of the A above. If you could see the sine waves, they would line up exactly and be perfectly in tune with each other.
Ok, back to my arpegio program from my youth. The fifth note in the major scale, Sol, is the second open note on my trumpet and the frequency is equal to three times the pedal tone. So if you take the first note of your arpegio and mutiply the Hz by three, you get a fifth, but it’s one octave too high. Ah, but we can lower it one octave by dividing the frequency in half. So
$sol = $n * 3 / 2; Yay!
I also figured out the third and was able to play arpegios with wild abandon. I’d pick some pitch from an array that contained the Hz for one octave to the Equally Tempered Scale, generate an arpegio on top of it, then pick another pitch from the same array and then play an arpegio on top of it, then pick . . .. I really liked infinite loops. My favorite command in BASIC was “goto.”
And so, with great anticipation, I started up my program and the first arpegio sounded great, but the on the next one, the first note sounded . . . off. And on the next one, the first note sounded terrible! What was going on?
Luckily for me, my father had designed an electronic organ only a few years earlier. (He wasn’t great for camping trips, but man, he was 100% there for technology explainations, even if he couldn’t quite manage to disuade me from my goto obessision, he was great for helping me debug stuff.) The problem? Mixing tuning systems! things that sound “right” in fractional, just intoned systems, sound really really right. But it has some problems. Everything is tuned perfectly to the starting pitch. But if you switch keys, without retuning, everything sounds off. All the distances are perfect from C for the notes in the C scale, for example, but the fractions are off from what they ought to be if you start playing in D. Take my word for this, I don’t have a soundfile to illustrate it, nor the math to work it all out here. But this a problem in tuning, for every tuning, is that the tuning can only be perfect in one key at a time.
this was “solved” with equal temperment. everything in equal temperment is equally out of tune. Tuning is based on irrational numbers instead of re-tweaked fractions. All the octaves in equal temperment are perfect. Everything else is off. If you have pitch N, to figure out the pictch one semitone above N (remember that there are twelve “semitones”, or “half steps” or distinct piches in every octave),
N[m+1] = N[m] * (1 + N[m] *2^^(1/12)); or, more generally, N[m+x] = N[m] * (1 + N[m] *2^^(x/12)); Got that? It’s irrational. It’s logarythmic. All the thirds sound kind of wrong. It’s lead to all sort of dissonance and twelve-tone systems and post-diatonic harmony and hell, post-tuned music like noise. Or maybe all the debauchery would have happned anyway. But you can see how fractions are a LOT easier to think about.
which brings us back to Harry Partch, whom I am reading to better understand tuning, so I can do perfectly just intoned, tuned works for computer. Because the computer can re-tune instantly, should a key change be required. Also, there’s no reason why the octave need have twelve tones in it. It could have thirteen, or twenty, or five. And with a perfect understand of these fractional systems, I could write even more music-producing computer programs, but not in BASIC and with fewer GOTO staements (you can see that this has been a work-in-progress for a long time.)
So you’d think, with my (admittedly, minimal) experience with just intonation, I would be able to get something out of this book. This is what it says:

In the ratio 3/2, 2 represents 1/1, the lower limit of the 2/1. the tone at the upper limit of the 2/1 may be represented by 4 (a doubling of 2); hence the interval from the 3 of 3/2 to this upper limit of the 2/1 is the interval from 3 to 4, or 4/3, which is therefor the complement of 3/2 within the 2/1; the two intervals might be expressed thus: 2:3:4. . ..

ummmmmm  yeah  ummmmm  I have no idea what that says. Not even a little clue. It cuold all be in German, for what I can understand of it (disturbingly, I have forgotten all of my German…). Maybe I should stick to equal temperment. Or to noise.

Lame Fan Pages

Apparently lame fan pages are not annoying. you (yes, you – dear reader!) should create one and then join the Ellen Fullman Fan Ring. Geocities and Angelfire and other free web hosting things are perfect for this application.
Just think about all the great composers and msucians who you dig but who have no mainstream fame. Some of these folks are broke, even though they’re making your favorite music. This is a bad thing. We’ve got to do something about this. I’ve got a three step plan!

  1. Go buy the CDs of the people you like. You don’t have the lastest one? Go get it! I know, I always buy used CDs too. I hope that inspires music stores to buy new ones, since they can see that it’s selling.
  2. Ok, then call up radio stations that play music in this genre and request songs from the records. i know, this is hard for contemporary classical stuff, but some college stations do it. then your favorite composer is getting some airplay and maybe will sell more CDs as a result. It’s a great idea. No, I’ve actually never done this, but you can see how it would be a great idea if I did.
  3. Make some fan pages and set up or join a webring. it’s guerilla marketting! ok, it’s as useless as all those dot com schemes that used this same formula. if this worked, then ask jeeves would still be worth $150/share (did you know that i was offered a piece of their ipo and said no because i thought their product wouldn’t scale? arg.). But even if it’s not actually useful marketting, the subject of your webpage may google for him or herself and find your fan page and be amused or confused. which is almost as good as fame and fortune.

Improv Music

Not long ago, I comment to a friend, “I don’t like improv music.” That’s not actually true. I love Deep Listening Band and I enjoy the Circle Trio, both headed up by Pauline Oliveros. And heck, I play in an improv rock band. And I like jazz solos. I like non-competitive improv music. For a while, I thought I could make a claim about female-dominated improv, versus male dominated improv, but it doesn’t work. Pauline Oliveros may well be the best improv artist ever, but Anthony Braxton is also very good and he’s definitely not female. I think it just must be very difficult to play improv music and many bands, for whatever reason, become competitive and play thoughtlessly. Certainly competitive, thoughtless music is not limitted to improv, but I think that it’s harder to get to the next level while improving. So, I’d like to clarify my comment. “I don’t like improv music unless it’s good.”
I think I also need to make a resolution to be less negative. What I mean is, to be more positive. Yeah. I love making resolutions for the same reason I like predictability. I can keep making the same resolutions year after year after year. I just need to change the date. I resolve to be more positive, to quit picking on Christi and to play more gigs, put out a new CD and generally improve my music career. yeah. this year will be different. this year will be great. I know it’s April and not January, but it takes me a few months to get the hang of new years.

Bathtubs for tubas

So I spent yesterday trying to get my new sousaphone into working order. It’s not actually new. It’s very very used. It came in a refrigerator box filled with packing peanuts, shredded paper and trash. I emptied out the box looking for the gooseneck. Whoever oppened the box openned it from the bottom, so at the very bottom of the pile, I found a note explaining that the gooseneck was “mislaid.” But it was all worth while, because Tiffany discovered a tuba mouthpiece amid the rubble, which included dirty, used foam, house insulation, bottle caps, used matches, etc all smelling like ashtray. Very odd packing maeterial, but the shipping was hella cheap.
I took the horn outside and started hosing it out. Inside were spiderwebs and spare packing peanuts. Every solder joint leaked water, but that’s ok. If they have bad air leaks, I can either try to resolder them or just duct tape it. Eventually, the odor of the tuba went from nasty-old-tuba smell to odorless, so I left it in the sun to dry and maybe disinfect. I mean, would you want to put your mouth on something you had just hosed spider egg sacks out of, unless it spent some time in the sun first?
Of course, before hosing it out, I pulled out all of the valves. They’re piston valves and they seem to be made out of brass, which is kind of unusual. I wanted to clean them, but I don’t own any brasso, and I didn’t really want to buy any, so I hit the ecology center website looking for some earth-friendly brass cleaning alternative. it suggested katsup. I swear, if some enviro group told me to cure headaches by hitting myself on the head repeatedly, I’d try it. And then, in conversations about headache remedies, I would casually mention it and then add, anecdotally, “but it didn’t work for me.”
So I rubbed katsup on all the vales and then rinsed them several times. Then I hauled the tuba back inside and yanked all the tuning slides out. There’s a trick to this. Loop a dishtowel through the slide and use it to yank it out. You won’t hurt the horn, but if the slide isn’t frozen, it’ll come out. So I pulled the slides out, ran a trombone snake through them a bunch of times and then rubbed the shiny parts of them with katsup. I think Christi and Tiffany think that I’m insane.
The valves move pretty well and the slides will budge if you pull on them. They’re not perfect, but I don’t feel like I should invest the money to take them to a shop. the main body of the horn is still filty, since I coulsn’t submerge it, I didn’t run a snake through it. I’d need a jacuzzi tub. I always thought those were silly and useless. They take a kajillion gallons ot fill up and then they get gradually cold and you have to drain the whole thing and start over next time. I mean, why not just get a hottub? But you can’t wash a tuba in a hottub! Old tuba grease would cause all sort of problems. But you could wash it in jacauzzi tuba! You’d probably want to keep the water jets turned off while doing it. So these giant bathtubs make sense for tuba players. I’m sure that when my parents had one put in, they somehow intuitted that I would one day take up the tuba, and then, in my late twenties, long after I had left home, I would come back to my dear widowed father and ask if I could wash my sousaphone in his bathtub.
As soon as I find a gooseneck, where “find” means “buy,” I can check out how playable the horn is. Hopefully, I can do this tomorrow, since the Brass Liberation Orchestra is playing at a protest outside of Lockheed MArtin in Sunnyvale on Tuesday morning.

Movies

Christi went to see a movie yesterday called Bullet Proof Monk. i didn’t see this movie. i think that by looking at the title, anyone can imagine what i might have to say about the movie (which i haven’t seen) and so it’s not really necessary for me to say anyhting, sice it would all be very predicatable.
I like predictability. i like to play games, like Snake with algorythms, such that I could program the computer to play it for me, so I wouldn’t have to. While I worked at Netscape, I considered doing a secret project to write a program to play solitare for me, thus freeing up my time for other persuits. then they laid me off. go figure.

Holiday Madness

I was going to write a letter about this, but I’m not sure who I should write a letter to. I would like to adress a serious problem in christian traditions. That problem is that they got the holidays in the wrong order.
Let’s look at Easter. First, look at the pre-christian aspects of it. The symbols associated with it are eggs, chicks, baby bunnies, flowers, etc. This holiday is clearly about fertility and birth. Obviously. It’s spring time! The leaves are coming back on the trees! Sumer is a cumin in, loudly sing cuco! The bulls now farteth, etc. It’s time to mate your livestock and dust off your plow. But what is the christian holiday about? Death! Death and resurrection. It’s a great theme for midwinter, or even autumn, but it has no place in springtime.
Now, take a peek a Christmas. The pre-christian traditions associated with the solstice are harder to sort out, as the non-christian aspects of it continue to evolve. Santa Clause is a new figure on the Christmas scene. But some symbols, like stars and Christmas trees and wreaths and evergreen stuff is part of a very old tradition to remind us that even though much of the world is dead, life will return. The Christian holiday, instead of being about something sensible like death and resurrection is a birth holiday. How does that tie in to the winter solstice??
The autumn holiday, at least makes sence. Halloween (Sam Hain) is not a major holiday on anybody’s calendar except for Mars candy company. But the Christian feast of All Saints and All Souls (Day of the Dead) is about death, as it should be. There, at least, things are as they should be.
I know my analysis here is terribly northern-hemisphere-centric. Does a birth celebration make more sense at the summer solstice instead of the winter one? At least Easter works with the seasons there. It’s almost as if the folks scheduling the holy calendar had a hunch that the season were backwards someplace else that they might one day sail to, colonize and convert. And they thought to themselves, “some part of this thing has to make sense, or the folks with backwards seasons will never sign up.”
Now, as a legacy of some counsil held hundreds and hundreds of years ago, it seems like we’re stuck with a non-sensical system. But we can work together to change this. Write your Cardinal! We must demand that the Easter and Christamas be switched around in the norhtern hemishpere and appropriately re-ordered to match the seasons in the southern hemisphere.
Write your archbishop! Write the pope! We must lobby at all levels!